Public Service Announcement...

While spending some time at the park yesterday I ran into one of my biggest pet peeves.  As I sat in the hot sun and watched and listened I became more and more frustrated.  And suddenly I realized that I have a mommy blog and I could rant in rave in print!  So, my big pet peeve is bratty kids.  Yes, I said it.  Bratty kids are the worst.  And let me preface this by saying that my kids have tantrums, act selfishly, and can push my buttons all day long.  So, I am not referring to the typical kid behavior.  I get it, I know that's part of childhood.  What I am talking about are the kids who are out and out rude, mean, and just general pests.

I should also preface all of this by saying that I fully understand that kids are a product of their environment.  They mirror what they see and their behavior most often reflects what is going on in their little lives.  I know that ultimately the kid is not to blame...it is their parents.  Yesterday we ran into Bratty Brat McBratterson.  He was intent on pushing my son's buttons.  Luckily my son is too young still to really get what was going on but I was fully aware.  Should I also mention fully hot and fully hormonal??  It started on the swings.  While I pushed Sullivan (my youngest) Oliver waited on another swing for me to come push him.  He has not mastered the whole pumping your legs thing so he just sat there still.  Next to him this kid was just dying for attention so he just repeatedly said things like, "Wheee I sure am swinging high!"  "I am glad I know how to swing by myself!"  "Swinging so soo easy!"  

You know how to spot a brat?  They are the ones who aren't intimidated at all by adults.  When I walked over to push Oliver this kid just kept up his commentary.  Staring at both of us just daring, WISHING, we would say something to him.  Oh, it was tempting but I didn't want to give him the satisfaction.  I just tried to remind myself that he was in need of attention.  I tried to feel bad for him.  Tried.

So cut to the slide....guess whose there??!  Oh yeah, Mr. Brat and he was on a mission to make enemies.  This time just sitting at the end of the slide staring off into space so no one else could go down.  Then it was off to the monkey bars where he could swing wildly into other people.  And then finally a round of following some poor kid staying 2 inches from his face.  He went around just sucking all the fun out of the playground.  And best of all, is that I never saw a parent.  No grandmother, babysitter, teacher, no one!  I envisioned his mom on some bench texting or maybe sitting in her car reading a book.  Sure he was annoying but the real problem is that he had no adult around correcting him or reigning him in.

So maybe my rant should not be about brats but more specifically brats' parents.  Where are you people that let your kid run wild??  Where are you when they are being nasty to other kids??  Why is it everyone else's problem??  Man up and watch your kid!  If they have gotten too out of control, don't bring them to a park and set them free for God's sake.  Give them some extra love and attention.  Take them to a specialists if it is out of your control.  At the very least, don't let them ruin the playground for every other kid (and hormonal mom)!

          

Friday Thoughts...

Can I be this cool in my next life?

Say what you want about Gwenyth but girls got some serious style and a body to die for!

And I will take Reese's pregnancy style for $200 Alec.

Can she get any cuter?  She makes it look so effortless which I can appreciate these days since most of my mornings start off with my whining about all my clothes that don't fit.

Pregnancy Style for a Wedding...

Wouldn't you know that we would have a wedding to attend right smack in the middle of this in-between stage I am currently going through.  My old clothes don't fit and maternity stuff is generally too big.  And now we have a wedding this weekend and I have been scrambling to find something, ANYTHING, to wear!  Luckily my friend loaned me a dress and I have thrown together an outfit similar to this...

Not the most exciting outfit but it will work and I only had to buy the necklace, which was $13 from H&M.  Those lovely little heels you see at the bottom have been on my wishlist for a long time!  They are from Zara and apparently they are on a lot of people's because my size keeps selling out.  Boo :(  

What were some of your go-to shopping sites for maternity clothes??

maternity cocktail by bbarden featuring zara shoes

Cattle Call at Your Local Fertility Clinic...

So I shared that we embarked on in vitro fertilization (IVF) for baby #3 after suffering two ectopic pregnancies.  I had some experience with our fertility clinic after my first son, Oliver was born since I was having trouble getting pregnant a second time.  I was referred to Reproductive Endocrinologist Specialists of Charlotte (REACH) by my OBGYN after having my first ectopic and subsequently not being able to get pregnant for several months following.

I will start by saying that REACH is a fabulous practice with some of the greatest doctors in North Carolina.  I am beyond grateful for all of their help in my journey and I really grew to love my doctor there.  Grew to love him.  My first visit to the REACH office was not great.  At the time, a couple of years ago, my mental state on all this baby-making business was pretty bad.  I was sick of trying to get pregnant with no results and I didn't understand why it had suddenly become a problem after an easy first time.  I was impatient and scared.  Leaving my regular OBGYN was hard too since I had become familiar with his practice and all of my nurses there.

First of all, the vibe in a "regular" OBGYN office is much lighter.  Most people visiting are there for regular exams or are pregnant.  People are chipper and happy.  Usually you are leaving with normal happy results and visits are pretty routine.  The vibe in a fertility clinic could not be more different.  Everything is somber and no one makes eye contact.  The staff is friendly enough but they don't make a lot of small-talk.  I assume it's because they never know the mental state of the patient with whom they are speaking and they do not want to rock the boat.  I understand, I mean after all most women are there because something is "broken" with their reproductive system.  Patients are coming because either, they having been trying without results, have gone through something traumatic like multiple miscarriages or are starting the process of a sometimes-lengthy fertility treatment.  Needless to say, most patients do not come in looking like a ball of sunshine.

Add to these factors that a lot of patients have zero children.  They are sometimes couples who have waited later in life to start families and therefor are running into issues with fertility.  I always felt like these couples would look me up and down with a sad smile as if they were thinking, "Hey, at least you have age on your side."  It made me feel bad that I am young (ish).  Or there are healthy-looking young couples who are clearly ready for a family and for whatever reason are not having any luck just yet.  These couples just look worn down.  It was always these women who avoided eye contact as if they felt embarrassed or ashamed that they had to be there.

The absolute worst was when I was forced to bring my children with me.  Children are not a regular sight at a fertility clinic and I know why.  When I would bring my kids they stood out like a sore thumb.  It just feels wrong to bring them there....like you are flaunting them and your good ovaries.

But as bad as it was to bring children into the office it was far worse to witness the men.  Sometimes the men were just there to accompany their wives and offer support but when you see them on the 3rd floor, it is a whole other story.  The poor men would look absolutely mortified to walk in the lab to retrieve their "specimen" cup.  They know why they are there and you know why they are there and there is no way to pretend you don't even when they try to act nonchalant.  Come on buddy, we all know why you are going in that little room.  Poor men.

All of this is just a prelude to your actual first appointment.  For me, that was not a good day.  I couldn't wait to meet this specialist and finally get some answers.  So after waiting for a good 30 minutes for a doctor who, I would later learn is notoriously late, I was fuming.  You would think that a good joke to break the ice would cure my irritation but something about a doctor talking like Donald Duck just didn't ring funny to me that day.  Or the several after on which he would do his impersonation again.  This man risked his life by 1. being late and 2. trying to bring a Disney character into my appointments.

So, the warm and friendly vibe of my regular OBGYN was gone.  I became a name on a long list and started feeling as though I was part of a cattle call.  But slowly I began to find the familiar faces who always made my appointments feel more personal and less depressing.  Even my doctor became a trusted partner in this whole process and I came to love him dearly.  Yes, duck voice and all.

My experiences at REACH became less and less horrible and eventually I found my groove among all of the somberness.  Hey, on one occasion I even saw a reality star!  Wish I could share who but I really wouldn't feel right.  So hang on with me and I will continue to share my road to baby #3!

Lessons from the Dark Side

Week two with a 2 year old and I've aged about 10 years on my life. I mean, did someone send him a memo that said, "Hey kid, you're 2 now. You know what that means, right?". It's like he went to bed a little, innocent toddler and woke up with a mission to destroy. Ok, maybe I'm being paranoid. But he is at least looking to conquer if not destroy. I know, Mother's Day just passed and that's supposed to be when you reflect on your immense love of mothering and the wonder that your kids are. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I was too busy picking up a toddler from the day's 10th tantrum and pleading with him to just take a deep breath to have time for all that mushy stuff. Now that's what a Mother's Day celebration looks like with a 2 year old. Hey, don't judge. I'm just being honest. Throw in the fact that I'm barely 2 weeks away from expanding this family from 3 to 4 members and you can just imagine about how much patience I have. I found myself recently enjoying a rare quiet moment and thinking about what exactly I could do to make the toddler years bearable (other than boarding school)and it really boiled down to some simple ideas...

Set low expectations for behavior. Our farmer's market just started back up and I was so excited to take Nash last week to enjoy the much needed Seattle sun and my favorite ice cream. Silly me. Why would a kid want ice cream?? It's just delicious and sweet and a rare treat. He screamed when I offered him any and ended up throwing it on the ground. Lesson: Don't expect that they'll be as excited about something as you think they would be.

Don't tell them what to do. Ok, so this is nearly impossible I know. You just have to find a way to tell them without telling them. For instance, Nash and his beloved dog are playing together. Nash has the dog's ball which he's been throwing for the dog to fetch. When I say to Nash "throw the ball" Nash screams and refuses to let the ball go from his clutches for the rest of the afternoon. Why? Because I told him to do it. Lesson: Don't interrupt a good thing. If there isn't blood or danger involved, keep your mouth shut and let the good times roll.

Lie. Yep, that's what I said. Lie. I'm sure there are about a thousand parenting "experts" that would gasp at the suggestion but I'm here to tell you, it's mama's secret weapon. Now, I don't mean lie about the big stuff (or maybe do, I dont' know). But if you need to tell them that they're best friend is waiting for them at the grocery store or that mama's food is too hot for them to eat then by all means go on and tell that lie. Lesson: If it gets you from point A to B without a colossal meltdown or physical harm then that lie just saved the day.

Beg. Just like a dog you sometimes gotta beg. Beg for peace. Beg for quiet. Beg for mercy. I swear Nash can hear the desperation and pleading in my voice when I'm at the point of begging. "Please. Please just don't scream. I promise I'll do whatever you want. Just please don't scream." He's got me right where he wants me at that moment. Lesson: I aint too proud to beg.

Repeat to yourself, "This too shall pass." Nash has slowly been changing up his sleep patterns and not for the better. We went a week with no nap (hell on earth), a week with pre-7am wake up (a no, no in this house), and several nights of 9pm or later bedtimes (ever heard of the book "Go the F to Sleep??"). In the moment I was freaking out thinking that this would become the new normal, he would be crabby forever, we would all be sleep deprived, we had a newborn on the way...AHHH!! I imagined it to be the worst case scenario. And the truth is that although he's not going to sleep as much as he used to, it's not the end of the world. He'll get as much sleep as he needs and we're all going to survive. Lesson: Nothing stays the same forever- for better or worse.

Don't get me wrong about all of this. There are so many moments of every day where my precious boy genuinely makes me laugh or warms my heart with his endless kisses and hugs. The kid has my heart, no question about it. And all of this isn't exactly ground breaking advice. But it's helping me survive or at least get a game plan in place so that Nash isn't raised without a mother. I may not know much but I know that if I can find ways, little or small, to raise a well adjusted, happy child then I've already won. Best of luck to you mamas trying to do the same.

I Will Survive...Right?

I'm taking a break from bringing you the best of Pinterest this week in honor of becoming the mom to a newly 2 year old boy. Clearly every birthday is reason for celebration and this one was no exception. But along with celebrating I also have an intense dread of what is certainly on the horizon for parenting a 2 year old. Toss in the fact that in a few short weeks I will also be bringing a newborn into the picture and it's enough to bring even the strongest of mamas to her knees. I may only be a day into the "terrible 2s" but here are some things that I've already learned are a sure sign you have a 2 year old...

• You sneak in all of your meals, snacks, and drinks so that you can enjoy them in peace
• You constantly find your belongings in his ball popper toy
• You find yourself using a voice that is usually reserved for mental patients to avoid yet another meltdown
• After several minutes of uninterrupted peace and quiet you can't decide if you should check on them or just enjoy this brief moment of silence
• Instead of singing the latest radio hit, you're stuck with their tv show or favorite game's song playing on repeat in your head
• You feel a surge of panic when you hear them wake up early from their nap or, God forbid, they start to drop their nap all together
• You feel the need to wear body armor when changing their diaper
• You have to pack a bag of snacks, toys, blankets, and pacifiers for just a quick trip to the grocery store
• You find yourself praying every night for patience...and forgiveness
• Things that were previously off-limits suddenly don't seem to be that big of a deal if it helps the whining stop
• You don't care who's watching when there's yet another public tantrum
• You say their name more than you say you're own
• You say "no" more than you say their name
• You find yourself asking other mother's "is it normal when...?"
• You pray that they act better for the babysitter/teacher than they do for you
• You wonder if a 2 year old has ever been kicked out of playschool
• You're constantly amazed at the number of uses he/she can find for a stick, lid, or piece of tupperware
• You wonder how they've made it through two days on milk and cheezits
• You find that a bib is a complete joke
• You realize that being this tired is a close second to having a newborn
• You decide to put off teaching manners until you can master the more simple things such as no hitting, screaming, or hurting the family pet

And finally...

• You realize that you'd lay down your life for this precious child and they really aren't all that bad...when they're asleep.

Do you have a 2 year old now? Or did you already survive the terrible 2s? What's your advice to us newbies? Or what would you add to this list? I'm serious here. I'm taking all the advice and war stories you care to share.

In all fairness, I have to say that I have one of the cutest 2 year olds out there and although there are days I'm convinced he was sent here to destroy me I can't imagine life without him. I guess that pretty much sums up being a mom, huh?!

A Good Recipe I Have to Share...

Cooking is not my thing right now but I have ben slowly finding more and more recipes that

1). Sound good to me right now

2).  Do not involve a lot of steps

I saw this one on Pinterest and immediately went to the store to get the ingredients.  And, survey saaaayss...it was delicious!!

Recipe Here

{ps..I made the non-spicy version by removing the seeds from the serano pepper and it still had a pretty good kick.  If you hate spicy or want a more kid-friendly version I would recommend using a green bell pepper instead.}