Preparing for Baby: Be Like Tory Burch (and me)...

Would there be anything better than having a best friend who happens to design super cute high end clothing??  Well my friends I think I may have an in to a new BFF who does just that.  I was reading my O Magazine the other night and came across an interview with Tory Burch and one of the questions was "What was your best gift to yourself?"  Here answer was this:

I've been writing an ongoing letter to my children since they were born, full of  recollections of their childhoods.  I've filled two journals.  It's a great thing to do as a mother-you forget a lot as you go along, but reading over what you've written brings all the memories back.

I, too have kept journals since my boys were born chronicling all of the milestones.  It's as much for me as it is them.  I kept track of my first son's eating and sleeping habits as well as when he got his first tooth.  It helped so much when it came time for my second and I had inevitably forgotten when and how things happen.  I write it as though I am writing to them so that one day they can read through and see what they were like and exactly how I was feeling about them each step of the way.  Well, maybe not exactly how I was feeling on some days but I don't really write on those days.

I am so excited to see that Tory (we're first name basis now) does the same.  Surely we would enjoy each other's company.  She could bring her boys over for a playdate, we could sip coffee, discuss reality tv, and I could borrow her clothes!  My gift to all expecting mothers is to buy a journal and start writing in it while you are pregnant.  Write about your feelings about the bundle on the way and the changes in your body.  Write about your labor story and then continue writing after the baby is born.  It is one of the best things I have ever done as a new mom for me and my kids!  

Attitude of Gratitude

I think our house has a new catch phrase!  During a recent sermon at our church our preacher brought up the subject of having an attitude of gratitude.  He explained that having an attitude that does not start with thankfulness makes you more likely to be cranky, moody, and unhealthy.  What he was teaching is based on the Bible, which I base my beliefs on, but any person with or without a belief in God can apply this lesson.  It simply means that you start your thoughts and days with gratitude as the foundation.  If you are busy being thankful for your blessings, big or small, it will be that much harder to stay frustrated at the idiot driver in front of you or the mailman who forgot your US Weekly again.  If you make an effort to concentrate on how fortunate you are it makes all the little disturbances in your day seem less annoying.  This kind of attitude will spill over into all areas of your life and will most definitely make an impact on your kids.  Not only will you have a new perspective on dealing with their misbehaviors, but you will show them by example a more patient and joyful way of living.  


If you read my post from last week you will understand why this sermon really struck me.  I spent most of last week stressed and feeling overwhelmed.  I was letting every little thing get to me and throwing myself a major pity party.  As I sat in church and listened I realized that I had forgotten to be thankful.  I made a mental note to do a little better this week.  The first day I decided that I immediately saw a difference in my day.  I chose to make the most of waiting on an oil change.  I threw on work out clothes and we walked to Snip-its (side note: if you haven't been there they do a great job.  Here is a coupon for your first visit.)  I got in some much needed exercise and the kids enjoyed the fresh air.  I made a conscience effort to appreciate the fact that we live in a great part of town where things are easily in walking distance.  Both boys sat like little princes for their haircuts so I treated us to lunch at Flying Biscuit.  Well treated myself because lets face it I am really the one who decides where we eat but I mentally said a thank-you for the $20 in my wallet that was allowing us to eat at one of my favorite places.  Next we popped in to Kid to Kid for a minute.  I was thankful for the enclosed play area so that I could browse in peace.  I was even more thankful when I found a white button down exactly like the one I purchased at the mall this weekend for my son.  I bought 5 items for the same amount I will be receiving back when I return the shirt.  Just one of those days where everything seemed to fall into place.  Or was it?  Was it just that I had an attitude of gratitude?  Because my kids weren't perfect the whole time.  There were complaints, whining, and disobeying and certainly my buttons were pushed but I just didn't feel the weight of all of that like I did last week.  I didn't let all of the little things pile up and I didn't let my myself focus on just the negative.  I could tell a difference in the way I talked to my kids and in the way I felt.  No racing heart, no lump in my throat, and low-and-behold a smile on my face.


I know that sustaining an attitude of gratitude is hard, especially when some days seem intent on breaking you but I know that if I focus on what I have and all that I am thankful for I will be able to endure the people and situations that so often make me CRRRAZY!!  And don't get me wrong, I said endure not enjoy.  I will not kid myself by saying that no one and nothing will ever make me mad again I am just going to try to not dwell on it.


This sermon came at just the right time...during a week that I couldn't find a way to stop being frustrated.  I had forgotten that just my way of thinking could change a lot.  Funny how timing is everything, from waiting for a pregnancy that you want so badly to choosing when and where your child should go for preschool.  It all works out.  


ps.  Not only does my church rock (obviously) but they have one of the BEST bands I have ever heard.  I for real feel like I am sitting in an American Idol each week.  May sound way too contemporary for some but don't knock it till you try it!  And, I just found out that Emily from The Bachelor goes to my church!  Now I bet ya wanna come huh?!

A Day in the Life...

Just more insight I want to share with the childless about what motherhood entails.  If you are thinking about having children or if you are a husband who doesn't understand why the life of a mother is so taxing please keep reading...
Today I had a few errands to run and this is how it went:

• Throw on some work out clothes, no time for a shower because most of the morning was spent trying to accomplish some things around the house while being interrupted every other 5 minutes by the kids.
• Dressed the kids. 
• Packed the diaper bag with snacks, drinks, diapers, and a couple of toys.  Threw in my wallet and cell phone.  Long gone are the days of a cute purse.
• Wrestled my son into his carseat, repeatedly asked my other son to get in his seat and buckle up.
• Got in the drivers seat only to realize I left my phone inside. Go back in only to realize I already put it in my diaper bag.
• Get back in the car and already have to fish out the drink for one child since he is screaming and we haven't left the driveway.
• Got to the mall, unloaded the kids, a massive double stroller, the diaper bag.  Jackets on.  Hats on.  Passy and blanket with us.  Car locked.  Check.
• Get into the mall only to realize that we forgot my son's cup.  It is leaking somewhere in the backseat where he threw it.  Decide to forego the cup and start brainstorming about how he will drink with his lunch.
• Hunt for an elevator. Work my way to the store I need to go to.  Repeatedly ask my older son to stop reaching out and grabbing clothes as we pass them.  Pick up a bottle of perfume he knocked off a table.  No damage thank God!
• Quickly explain what we need monogrammed to the guy at the kiosk all while both sons try to wiggle out of their buckles.
• Head to the food court and catch a glimpse of myself in a window as we pass.  Pray I don't see anyone I know.
• Order chicken nuggets for all as my son uses his foot to kick off of the counter sending them and the stroller sailing back into people passing by.  Offer apologies to them, threats to him.
• Thank the man who carried our tray.  Unbuckle everyone, stick down placemats, put straws in drinks, squirt ketchup, open yellow "dip dip", cut up food.  Sit down and take a deep breath.
• All the sudden realize someone is talking to me as the man next to me looks at me with pity and says, "you have a busy couple of years ahead of you."
• Wolf down my food (hope no one is looking) since I will only have about 3 minutes before something is spilled or someone is complaining.   Repeatedly ask my younger son to stop throwing his food on the floor.  Feel utter joy when I realize my son can drink from a straw!!  Give up on making him eat his lunch and give him the oreos I brought instead.  Bribe my other son to eat or he won't get ice cream.
• Clean up our table.  Leave the mess on the floor and hope the custodian doesn't see me walking away.
• Wipe hands, faces, clothes and hair.
• Head back out of the mall.  Detour through the dress section just to peek.  Decide quickly that I am an idiot and these two desperately need naps.
• Make my way through people who don't understand that STROLLERS HAVE THE RIGHT-AWAY!!
• Push the handicap buttons so I can maneuver through doors.  
• Unload both boys, the diaper bag and my bag into the car.  Wrestle my youngest into his seat again.
• Crank up the car and immediately have to turn around to fish out the passy for my already-crying youngest.
• Get out of the parking lot to a still screaming child and try to reach back to find his blanket.  Realize its not there.  He dropped it somewhere in the last store.
• Cuss under my breath and head back to the parking lot.  Have to run back in and search the floor for the blanket.  Find it under a rack of clothes.
• Get back in the car, hand the blanket to my son.  He stops crying.
• Talk junk to the slow driver in front of me.  Tell him (not to his face) that he "is old and shouldn't have a license"  My older son dies laughing.  Make a mental note to be aware of what I say in the car from now on.
• Get home, change a diaper, remind one to pee pee on the potty.  Get both in their beds.  Fall on the couch.  Relax for about 5 minutes and then realize I need to return phone calls, start dinner, and check my email.

Its only 3:30 in the afternoon.  And today is not out of the ordinary.  Just another day in the life of a mother!  Yes children are gifts and motherhood is precious but this is what it is like day-to-day and hour-by-hour.  It is not a job for the weak!

"10 Things I Thought Motherhood Would Be" by: Adrienne Patterson

I am thrilled to bring you some words from another mom today.  I love to hear how things work in other households and I can always appreciate moms that keep it real.  Adrienne keeps it really real in this!  I laughed until I cried reading this because it is so true!  Some people may find it offensive but I feel pretty sure that most mothers will be able to relate.  I can assure everyone that as Adrienne's sister, I know she is a great mother and probably one of the ones that other moms look at and envy.  This just goes to show that we all have our doubts, fears, and frustrations!  Enjoy and stay tuned for more posts soon from Adrienne.  She is already working on her next post which she says she will try to sound a little more positive so people don't question her love for her kids!

1.  I thought I would like to play with my kids….it really isn’t that fun.  Truth is I have very little imagination and what I do have isn’t geared towards games like “House”…isn’t imagination supposed to be an escape from reality?!  As for my visions of rainy days playing board games and doing puzzles the reality is more that they spend more time knocking the puzzle pieces off the table and moving the game pieces in all the wrong directions.  If you are type A like me this is just absolute torture…GAME OVER!

2.  I thought I would have more sweet moments.  I envisioned them sitting in my lap while I read to them, sweet prayers before bed and putting them to bed with a cute bedtime routine of tucking in and kisses and hugs……well it seems that books are more interesting when pages are torn out and you flip to the end as quickly as possible.  Kids are unable to sit still for longer than 5 seconds and their attention span and focus is pretty much non existent.  By the time bedtime rolls around the only prayer I am uttering is “God please let them go to bed now before I kill them” and the bedtime routine is multiple warnings and threats of what will happen if they wet the bed, get out of bed or come in my room during the night.

3.  I thought they would be more interesting and I would cherish sweet conversations in the car and precious questions as I modeled motherhood…more like annoying and persistent. Sure there are the cute, funny comments here and there but for the most part the questions are dumb, repetitive and make no sense.  I don’t know how to tell a 3 year old what a cell phone tower is for, I am not sure why a dog has four legs and I really don’t care about answering the question you are asking me in your new made up cat language!  Truth is I would prefer silence a lot of the time, just some damn peace and quiet with my own thoughts!

4.  I thought that if I taught them properly and gave good explanations they would be obedient….nope, not even close!  I don’t care how you approach it or what you do you aren’t going to prevent your 2 year old from pitching an all out tantrum when you don’t produce juice the instant they ask for it, you won’t get your 4 year old to quit peeing the bed at night and your 6 year old is not going to eat green beans!  Their brains are hard wired for irrational behavior and levels of persistence that would test Jesus himself.  They are selfish and impatient, inconsiderate and unpredictable.  You think you are in charge but really they rule your world and more often than not you will find yourself giving them whatever they want so they will just leave you alone or go away!

5.  I thought teaching and learning would be fun….wrong again!  It is more of a reminder of how small their brains really are and how little compassion I do have!  I mean how hard is it to figure out a puzzle with 5 pieces and do you really think that you can get dressed if you put your cowboy boots on before your pants?  I want to be patient as I explain yet again that you cannot put your cup on the edge of the table but when the 4^th drink of the night is spilled I just want to slap them…USE YOUR BRAIN!!! But alas their brain is small and great patience is required to teach them…

6.  I thought I would feel more fulfilled and rewarded as a mom…truthfully I feel like I have been beaten and abused by small demons at the end of most days.  They suck the life out of you with their thousands of needs and demands with no regard to your needs whatsoever.  I clean up and serve meals and meet their every other small need in between.  Locating blankets, fixing sippy cups of chocolate milk, breaking up fights, fixing broken toys, dry endless tears, wipe butts and noses, and clean up vomit.  My every moment is dedicated to their needs while mine don’t even make it to the back burner they just get thrown out the window.

7.  I thought I would keep up with my looks and my youthful energy…how sad to get in the car, run errands and return home only to find that you wore two different shoes and you had spit up covering the back of your left shoulder!  Equally as sad to tell your 1^st grader that while she may be scared to be dropped off in car line you cannot walk her in b/c you have left the house with no bra and are wearing your maternity yoga pants and dad’s holey undershirt!  Caffeine is my best friend and I fall asleep most nights before I can even tell my husband good night (or he can ask for sex!).  Hard to find times when I’m NOT tired!

8.  I thought I would stay organized…for awhile you can hang on to that but it will not last!  First baby had fully decorated nursery, stocked diaper bin, clothes neatly folded, my bed was never left unmade regardless of the mess during the day when I went to bed everything was in it’s place!  Baby number 3…nursery is a hodgepodge and the Diaper Genie constantly stinks.  I don’t know if I even have diapers and I confess to wiping her more than once with sanitizing hand wipes b/c yet again I have run out of wipes in the car!  My bed is never made and the laundry room has become the family closet!  I am late most everywhere I go and if we happen to be on time then I have probably punished all 3 kids and said enough awful stuff to put them in therapy the rest of their life to make it there!

9.    I thought I would really appreciate moms from all walks of life, after all we were comrades traveling this weary road together right?  WRONG!  Moms can be really weird and just plain annoying!  There is the “healthy nut” mom who cooks super organic healthy meals every night and her kids eat everything she prepares. You are embarrassed to hear your kids having to explain to her kids which fast food restaurant serves free kids meals which night of the week!  What about “natural” mom who has long nasty hair, wears Birkenstocks with long peasant skirts and tries to really sell you on the environmental advantages to cloth diapers and making your own baby food…please!  There is “strict” mom who doesn’t let her kids watch any TV, they can read at a 5^th grade level in kindergarten and they are totally obedient…lots of fun on a play date while my kids are running around like wild dogs, begging for Nick Jr. and can’t seem to count to 10 playing Hide N Seek!  And then there is the WORST kind of mom, “super patient/actually seems to enjoy her kids” mom.  She can barely carry on a conversation w/ you b/c she is so into her kids and seems to want to answer their every question and hear all their stories.  Meanwhile I am telling mine to go find a toy and as I pinch the back of their arm I whisper violently in their ear that I will spank them till they can’t sit down if they don’t quit begging me for a treat!  

10.  I thought this would be lots more fun….but it is A LOT of work!  Even the “fun” is hard work. Just to go get ice cream involves dressing them, brushing hair, finding shoes, rounding them all up and into the car only to find that one is missing her blanket and the other has pooped in her diaper.  You finally get in and on the road and they fight all the way there about who orders first or who sits by who.  You get there and before the last cone is served one has dropped hers and is hysterically crying.  The mess is cleaned and another cone ordered just in time to observe that most of the double dark fudge one ordered has stained her outfit and completely ruined it AND it is somehow all over the back of her head.  500 napkins later you have cleaned it up and now two of them need to go to the bathroom where they proceed to touch everything in the nasty public restroom.  Hands are washed and as you go to dry their hands with the hand dryer you realize too late it’s one of those that is made with a jet engine that is so loud and strong that the kids are screaming and terrified.  Back to the car where an all out war rages over who gets to sit in the middle seat and the ride home is filled with crying b/c despite a “fun” night of ice cream we didn’t get to rent a movie.  Fun? Not nearly as much as I thought!!

Because of...

Because of the snow my husband had off work.  That gave us time to sit down and devise a budget.  In doing so we found that we could save a little on some of our bills.  Because of that I called our phone service and requested a new bundling package.  Because of that I received a huge box in the mail with instructions for activating a new phone line.  Since technology is the devil I ended up with a pile of cords, a non-working phone, and the urge to kick something.  That was even after a repairman stopped by.


Because of the snow I have been stuck inside.  Without a phone.  Because of the snow my older son has also been home all week going stir crazy.  Because of the snow I wasn't able to go buy diapers when I saw the stash getting low.