You Better Work...

Even when Rupaul sang those words he was talking about doing your thang on the runway, not in every casual picture that is ever taken of you.  Am I confusing you with this post already?  I am talking about this new trend of posing for pictures like you are on a red carpet.  Just click on over to Facebook and you will see what I am talking about.  Suddenly every girl is unable to take a picture without her legs crossed and a hand on her hip.  I get it, I know it is slimming and all but I just can't get over how posed it looks.  Are you in your friend's backyard for a cookout or are you on a stand and repeat?  


I'll be honest, one night I tried to pose this way for pictures and all I got were some weird pictures where I look like I am wearing a back brace.  I just couldn't master the whole position without looking super uncomfortable.  Plus I was laughing hysterically in every picture so that didn't help.  It reminds me of the times when the school photographer would tell me to "sit up straight, chin out, shoulders back, feet flat, and smile."  He mine as well have told me to spin a baton and walk on my hands.  I always had the same expression of both pain and confusion in every school picture. Seriously, my mom ordered the smallest packages just to not hurt my feelings.  


I like casual candid pictures not all these staged ones.  I have been mauled by my friends by them fighting for who has to be on the end for group shots.  Everyone is convinced that if they don't get the "best spot" and if they don't stand like Paris Hilton than they will look like a beast!  I am all for finding a good angle, which by the way I just don't have, but who is going to believe that you just happened to be standing with your legs criss-crossed while casually placing one hand on your hip. Sure, we all stand like that while shooting the breeze, right?  


I blame Facebook.  It has caused high anxiety for women because every picture has the potential to circulate to everyone you have ever known.  Every outfit repeat, every zit, and every "fat day" is captured, tagged, and documented for life!  I kind of miss the surprise of developing pictures only to find that someone's eyes were closed or that you had something in your teeth.  At least they were real!  Now if you take a picture and you don't stand as though you have had runway training YOU are the one who comes out looking like a dumpy little troll.  So come on!  Can we just go back to sucking in and turning a little to the side?  Otherwise I am going to have albums full of pictures that make me look like I have scoliosis and just smelled a fart.




Some naturals....

I am thinking about that pose on the right for our Christmas card this year

aha ha ha I love walking so naturally down this red carpet

oh, hi there...are you taking a picture of me?  I didn't even notice...

Apparently they are having an off day....this is what my pictures would like like

UPDATE:  When I view this post via my iPhone, the last picture is some nasty one of Coco (as in Ice T's Coco!) but when I view it on my computer it is the one of Miley Cyrus and Jennifer Hudson.  Weird??  Anyway if you are seeing the Coco one I am not sure why and I apologize!