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Thursday, November 3, 2011

Mom Questionnaire: Beverly

Name:   Beverly Starkey     Age (optional):    31       Number of kids: 3 (+1 husband) =4

What was the biggest surprise to you after having a child(ren)? 
The difficulty in going anywhere on time which was already a problem for me alone!  Now that I have three, it takes a lot of extra effort on my part to go anywhere.  Related to that is the fact that I have to get up earlier in the morning to make it happen.  I used to be a noontime sleeper pre-kids and now, not only do they wake me up at 7 on the few days I don't have anywhere to go, but on the days I have to go out, I have to wake myself up that much earlier. 

What would you say has been your worst parenting moment?
In those moments where I throw my own temper tantrum in the midst of their tantrums.  I'll never forget what my pediatrician told me right after I had Kendall.  He recommended this book to me called "1-2-3 Magic" which basically goes through how to count your children to good behavior (yes, I am one of THOSE Moms who counts to three).  Anyway, the book tells you to not ever yell at your children because in essence all that is is a temper tantrum of your own, i.e. you can't control your behavior in difficult moments either.  So, everytime I throw one of my own (which is at least once every other day), I remember that book and think , "Do I want to burn it or ...maybe I should read it again?".  

Your best?
Praying with my kids at night.  The things that come out of my kids' mouths sometimes just amazes me.  Their wonder at every little thing is refreshing.  I forget a lot to be thankful for the small stuff too but they remind me of that every time we pray together.  So my best moments are those in which they teach me how to be a better mom and person and I try to return the favor.

Best parenting advice you have ever received?
For us, our schedule is crazy.  We are not home very often except to eat and go to bed most weeks.  The best advice anyone ever gave was to do what works for our family.  My kids have never been on a strict timeline throughout the day because our schedule just does not allow for it.  My kids stay up later sometimes so that we can spend that quality time together.  They still take naps (my 4.5 year old included when she feels like it) so that they can stay up a little later and play with Mom and Dad.  Just do what works for your family and own it.  Don't feel pressured to be like your neighbor or best friend because each family has its own dynamic.

What has changed the most about your personal style since having kids?
Style?  I'm supposed to have that?  Well, I don't know that I ever had style before other than t-shirt and jeans and that is still pretty much my style.  I'm addicted to my jeans and I don't think that will ever change.  The biggest change has probably been going from heels to flats.  I still have some heels for work and going out, but most of my closet now consists of flats.  Carrying around kids is tough in heels and just not worth it for me.

What is your day-to-day beauty regimen? 
Again, I ask....Beauty regimen?  Not much of one.  For the days I work, I wake up, take a shower, comb my hair and even get to blow dry it maybe once a week.  Brush my teeth, contacts in, clothes on...get the kids ready.  A very quick make up application goes on at stoplights between childcare provider's (grandma) house and work.  Just the basics - powder foundation, a little bronzer on the cheeks, mascara, and lip gloss.  On days I don't work, most of the time it is the same regimen, minus the makeup and sometimes the shower.

What is your favorite beauty product and why?
All products by Aveda but my favorites are my shampoo and conditioner.  This is where I splurge because there is nothing better than stepping in the shower and washing your hair to the scent of Rosemary Mint by Aveda.  I also wear their makeup which is mineral based and has significantly changed my skin texture.  A little of their Tea tree oil added to Cetaphil facewash does wonders as well.  See, that's why I say all Aveda products because I can't choose one.

If you could have back one luxury from your pre-kids days what would it be?
Time to read a book without someone standing beside me going, "Mom, mom, mom, mom, mom...I want some juice, can we watch TV?"  I love Dan Brown and Lynn Sholes books with religious mystery themes but the only time I can ever read anymore is when my kids (husband included) are sleeping.  That means that I am even more sleep-deprived than usual when I find a good book. 

What is your favorite kid-friendly activity to do with your kids?
I love going to the pool with them in the summer.  They are just so carefree when we are there and they get so worn out that they go to bed without as much wrangling from me.  At home, when it is just us, we like to set up obstacle courses in the playroom and everybody has a turn on the course and then we change it up a bit and go again.
Your favorite thing about raising kids in Charlotte (or whatever city in which you live)?
Charlotte - Access to whatever we want to do.  Charlotte has so much kid-friendly stuff to do that I still learn something new every week.  

What word do you use way too much on any given day?
Kendall, stop!  (substitute Caleb in there as well)  Kendall is the best big sister ever but I swear I feel like I am yelling at her to stop picking up, carrying, sitting on, holding down, etc. Zoe every two minutes.  She wants to help Zoe make every move and take every step and it is cute most of the time but every time she does, Zoe screams (ear-splitting) because she wants to do it herself. 

Celebrity mom you can most see yourself hanging out with?
Angelina Jolie because sometimes I feel like I live in a circus too.  She has double the amount of kids but the craziness of mine sometimes would probably fit in well with hers.

If you could have one super power that would help you be an even better mom what would it be?
Definitely patience, like all moms!  If you ask my parents how they would describe me growing up, one of the common themes would probably be slow and very calm.  I don't get worked up (or didn't used to) or have much of a temper at all until I had kids.  I lose my patience so quickly with them sometimes and then I sit back and think, oh so this is what my parents mean when they say payback for my childhood is coming back to bite me.  Deep breaths and remember they are kids.  I remind myself that I need to enjoy these little moments of slowness because one day they won't have time for me either.
Favorite part of being a mom?
Listening to their giggles when I make funny faces or Daddy chases them around upstairs like he's a hungry bear.  Then listening to their quirky little comments and watching their facial expressions as they learn how to interact with others and wondering where in the world they get some of this from.  :)

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