***If you have made your way back to Momsie, I am so glad you found us! We had some technical issues with the domain name so make note of the new web address. Another good reason to "follow" us and "like" us on Facebook so you can stay in the know!! Pass the word to people still searching for Momsie!***

Thursday, June 30, 2011

momsie: STYLE: Mudroom Makeover

Its my party and I'll make-over if I want to....In honor of my birthday (today!) I gave myself a brand new room in my house!  It didn't cost me much and I now have a real big-girl office.  

BEFORE: boring, no organization, no real use

In transition...

AFTER:  My new and improved workspace/mudroom.  One small room with two big functions now!

Moved my desk from upstairs which gives me a much more centralized location.

A perfect little nook for my desk and right next to the kitchen!
ps. I found the missing knob in the toy box!

Found this at HomeGoods!  Perfect for all my little "stuff"
I love little things...
And good memories around while I work!

Still have a mudroom but now with better storage
 for shoes, hats, dog stuff, etc. 

A place for calendars, school stuff, and hats.

Precious little hats for my surfer boy in the making!

And as always, keeping CROCS in business!

This space is so much more functional now:  I can do some work, step over and start dinner, grab Crocs in a hurry, and the whole area just suits me.  I have my knick-knacks right above me and more organization than I can handle...my heart is full.

This new work area is a necessity now too because there is a lot of work to be done.  This new workspace is not the only gift I have given myself this year.  I am going to celebrate today and keep you all in suspense for 24 more hours but make sure to check in TOMORROW for a big announcement!

Wednesday, June 29, 2011

Get Your Advertising Spot...

I will be starting a new round of advertising July 1st.  It is a great way to draw more attention to your business!  To reserve your spot all you need to do is contact me via email: momsiecharlotte@gmail.com.  Please check out the "advertising/reviews" tab for more information on sizes, prices, and deals!

New Relationships: Adrienne Patterson

Hard to believe that just a few months ago I began entertaining the thoughts of home schooling and now I am only weeks away from actually doing it!!  The room is nearly done, the curriculum is here and my lesson plans are almost complete.  We are going to kick off our school year July 7th and I honestly can’t wait.  (Remind me of this when I begin posting how I am completely frustrated and totally doubting this decision, LOL!)  I know much of the excitement is from the inner nerd in me who totally likes organizing and setting up schedules, seriously the thrill I get when I realize I need to go to Staples is ridiculous!  But I am also finding that I am excited at the prospect of truly spending time teaching my child.  I know that sounds crazy seeing as how I have been a mom for over 7 years and that is what moms do right?  But somehow this feels different. 

We have now entered this stage of life where I honestly feel like I can have a relationship with my kids and enjoy them.  For so many years it seems that there is no time to have a relationship with them outside of changing their diapers, fixing sippy cups, buckling their car seats, wiping their noses, cleaning up after them and enduring endless amounts of crying.  I am finally at a point where they can do more for themselves meaning I have more time to simply be with them.  Don’t get me wrong, they aren’t self sufficient by any stretch and they have traded poopy diapers for spilled drinks and tantrums for arguing with one another but maybe I was just so burned out on all that other stuff that these new trials seem easier??  Who knows, but I know that when I go to the pool now and I can sit in my chair and watch all of them swimming or we can go on a walk and they all ride their bikes I find myself thinking, “I have been waiting for this!!!”

I especially see this in Molly Scott who is 7 years old.  Suddenly it’s fun to take her along to the grocery store and pick out our favorite cereal together or to sneak out to get some ice cream.  We can have actual conversations about stuff (like how cute we thought Justin Bieber was in Never Say Never) and sometimes she even fixes me a drink or gets me my favorite snack…now there is a true milestone!!  While I have always been her teacher I must admit it’s not necessarily fun to teach her how to blow her nose or how to wipe after pooping.  Now I see that I am going to get to teach her some truly interesting and useful stuff like reading and writing (yes, wiping your nose and butt is useful but just not as rewarding).  And even beyond A,BC’s and 1,2,3’s I am going to be able to teach her about God and building a good character!!  This is what every parent dreams of…teaching your kids the things that will make them moral, responsible and intelligent adults. 

So many times during those trying toddler years I would tell my mom that I thought people were crazy to say parenting was rewarding.  I didn’t feel rewarded I felt tired and overwhelmed. She would always tell me that while there were the small rewards like sweet smiles and the first time she said my name the big and lasting rewards would come later.  She was right!  When I hear Molly Scott talk about praying to Jesus because she was scared during the thunderstorm or when she excitedly reads road signs as we drive down the road I am completely rewarded. I am confident that this year will be full of such rewards and while I am eternally grateful that she is no longer wetting her pants and that she no longer eats her boogers I am pretty sure these upcoming accomplishments will be even better!!! 

Tuesday, June 28, 2011

Looking for Mrs. Right: Lauren Alexander

When you were still swimming in the dating pool, what was it that caught your eye? What were you looking for in that special someone? Chances are it's not too terribly different that what you're looking for in a friend (Although it could get a little awkward when I ask my new friend to change the little one's diaper or read him a book). The list usually goes something like this...dependable, honest, trustworthy, funny, common interests, etc. So when you're looking for a good friend maybe you should look at it as if you're still that younger you looking for Mr. Right.

1. Don't look desperate- A good man can smell it from a mile away and so can a girlfriend. You may think you and Mrs-I-love-her-hair would hit it off but if you come on too strong and don't give the poor girl a minute to just get to know you, it could be over before it even began.

2. Don't be shallow- Mom was right when she told us over and again to "never judge a book by it's cover". Maybe in high school it was acceptable to pick your friends based on whether you could share clothes or how popular the other was but if you keep that up you just may miss out on a really great friendship. I think there's something to be said for a gut reaction as to whether you and a fellow mommy will hit it off but don't let it stop there. Strike up a conversation and you may just be surprised what you find.

3. Don't be quick to judge- One of the first things I checked out on a guy when I was still dating was their shoes. I can't tell you how many guys I didn't give a second glance to because of a poor choice in footwear. Honestly, it could have been Brad Pitt in a pair of man sandals and he wouldn't have gotten so much as a handshake. Although, this theory did lead me to my knight in sandy Rainbows but that's beside the point. The point is that I could have missed out on some really special people had I continued to be so quick to judge. You never know the day your fellow mommy has had and heaven knows it's hard to pull it together when you're last on the priority list. Imagine if someone caught you on that Target run at 8am when you realized you had run out of diapers and hadn't had time to so much as brush your teeth or get the kiddo out of their pjs. Yeah, no judgement necessary, we've all been there.

4. Don't dominate the conversation- So the handsome stranger finally asks for your name and 30 minutes later you've launched into "...and then this one time in 3rd grade..." Honey, this is not going to end well. Chances are he's desperately looking for an exit and so will your potential new friend. Listen, people want to learn about you and they're feeling you out as much as you're feeling them out. But if the conversation is not a give and take then your fellow mommy is going to feel more like a shrink than a new friend.

5. Most importantly, be yourself! What's the point of telling Mr. Right you just love to hike and never ever eat fast food when down the road he's inevitably going to find you channel surfing with a mouth full of french fries? It's so much more work than it's worth to create a fictionalized you when the real you is who will be there at the end of the day. I find it unbelievably refreshing when a fellow mommy admits to a complete freak out on her kid or also having had a "headache" the previous night. It's real! It's who we are and what's the point of trying to make a friend if you're just going to be some cleaned up version of yourself? Chances are the girl you're talking to is sighing in relief that you're so honest...and probably checking out your shoes, too.

Summer movies...

At 10:00 am every Tuesday and Wednesday select movie theaters around Charlotte feature kid-friendly flicks for $1/child.  I would suggest getting there early to reserve your seat!

Here is a list of the theaters in the Charlotte area that are participating:
  • Stonecrest at Piper Glen
  • Arboretum Stadium

6/28 - 6/29:  Barnyard or Yogi Bear
7/5 - 7/6:  Alpha & Omega or Charlotte's Web
7/12 - 7/13:  Astro Boy or Megamind
7/19 - 7/21:  Despicable Me or Marmaduke
7/26 - 7/28:  Pirates Who Don't Do Anything or Shrek Forever
8/2 - 8/4:  Bee Movie or Diary of a Wimpy Kid
8/9 - 8/11:  How to Train Your Dragon or Shrek the Third

FREE Things to Do: 6/28-7/3....(air-conditioned activities!)

If you are looking for something new to do with your kids (it is almost July so surely you have worn out the usuals) check out Carolina Lanes in Matthews.  If you sign up for their emails you can get weekly coupons.  Your child could bowl for FREE all summer and you can enjoy the AC!

Billy Graham Library (all content from the BG Library site)

Bessie the talking cow offers a lighthearted look back at Billy Graham's life on a dairy farm. Both the young and the young at heart will enjoy her fun quips, stories, and singing. Bessie offers instructions and tips for children before they begin their scavenger hunt through The Journey of Faith.

Bessie's BrainteasersBESSIE'S BRAINTEASERS

As children go through the Library they can use these question-and-answer cards to follow along on the tour. After the tour, they can bring the card to Ruth's Attic Bookstore to pick up a prize.


There is an amazing history lesson for young people as they follow the life of Billy Graham from his childhood to adulthood. World events and leaders inpacted by Billy Graham are highlighted through films and interactive displays.
Library for KidsLibrary for KidsLibrary for Kids


Books for children and young adults are available in the bookstore, along with stuffed animals, cool t-shirts, hats, jewelry, and gifts.


Try out the Jr. Combo Meals, including PB&J or cheese sandwich with chips, cookie and a drink. A favorite is the Billy Frank hot dog with all the fixin’s! Top it off with a frosty milkshake or ice cream cone.

Carolinas Aviation Museum
Now is a great time to check out this museum not only because it is another indoor activity but because the Miracle on the Hudson plane is on display.  There are also all kinds of helicopters, planes, and gadgets to see.  The museum is located very close to the airport so kids will also get a chance to see and feel planes taking off!  
Admission:  FREE for kids 5 and under
For more info visit their site, here.

Monday, June 27, 2011

7 or Less (Final week 6)...

It is our last and final week of recipes using 7 ingredients or less.  To continue my efforts to eat more seafood (or any at all) I am going to finish this theme with a fish taco recipe.  I am not sure yet what our next monday theme will be??  Maybe recipes using Nutella (my latest obsession!) or maybe a new "well-being" category all together.  If you have a suggestion, let me know.  Now enjoy your fish taco recipe....I cut and pasted this recipe directly from www.delish.com.  

beer battered fish tacos and avocado salsa
Ken Burris
Yields: 2 servings
Total Time: 30 min
Prep Time: 30 min
  • 3 tablespoon(s) all-purpose flour
  • 1/8 teaspoon(s) ground cumin
  • 1/8 teaspoon(s) salt
  • 1/8 teaspoon(s) cayenne pepper, or to taste
  • 1/3 cup(s) beer
  • 8 ounce(s) tilapia fillet, cut crosswise into 1-inch wide strips
  • 2 teaspoon(s) canola oil
  • 4  corn tortillas, warmed

  1. Prepare Tomato and Avocado Salsa, if using.
  2. Combine flour, cumin, salt, and cayenne in a medium bowl. Whisk in beer to create a batter.
  3. Coat tilapia pieces in the batter. Heat oil in a large nonstick skillet over medium-high heat. Letting excess batter drip back into the bowl, add the fish to the pan; cook until crispy and golden, 2 to 4 minutes per side. Serve the fish with tortillas and salsa.

Summer School: DIY Kid Calendar

Although it now seems like a lifetime ago, I was once a kindergarten teacher.  I still have all of my teaching materials stored away for if and when I return to the classroom.  Sometimes I do catch myself saying things I used to say to my students and looking for "teachable moments" (nerd alert).
I am making a conscience effort to do at least a couple of crafts and educational things with my sons this summer.  Moose and Zee are great teachers but I figured I'd better get in on the action too!  I am not sure if your kids do this, but my 4-year-old wakes up everyday asking, "What are we going to do today?"  I wanted a way for him to be able to answer that question for himself sometimes and to get excited about some of the fun things I have planned for him this summer.  I thought up an idea that will help do what I just mentioned along with help him practice his writing and number recognition.  Its the teacher in me, I guess!  This is a great activity for any child that is pre-school age or even for review before first grade.  It can be tailored to your child's level.

Here is "Oliver's Summer Calendar" 

Here is how we did it:

Step 1:  Create a table in Word (or similar program or just hand draw it with a ruler) that is a 7x4 grid.

Step 2:  On a separate piece of paper draw numbers 1-30.  Make them large (@ 1 in.) and in your best print.    

*Your child's age and abilities will dictate how independently they will do the next steps.

Step 3:  Get your child involved: ask him which color to use for each word, to tell you some things he would like to do this summer, to recite the days of the week.  

Step 4:  Have your child number the boxes (I would suggest using pencil for easy corrections).  She can reference your number sheet for help if needed.  Another great practice tool for beginners is to lightly draw the number with dots/dashes and have your child trace it.  If your child is ready for more advanced writing practice do the same method for the letters in each word.

Step 5:  Discuss some fun things that are planned for the summer.  Have your child choose a color for regular activities like, the pool, to serve as a key.  Soon they will associate the word with the color, for example blue=the pool.  In our case it was crucial that we had a big event to which we could count down.  This helped get my son excited about using the calendar and gives Mommy a great bribing tool!

Step 6:  The last element of the calendar is the countdown number.  This is just another place that my son will practice writing his numbers.  Each morning when he gets up he checks the calendar for the day's activity, marks it through with an "x" and writes the new number of days until the "big event!"  In our case this is having a friend sleep over...I will be installing the rubber walls in the playroom next week!

Summer Bucket List

When you put it like that it sounds way more appealing than "To-Do" List.  There is a lot I want to do this summer so I have to break it down into categories: home, work, family.  So, here is what is on our family fun list...

1.  Choose a 5K  IOP Beach Run July 23rd!!
2.  See "Cars 2"
3.  Go to a real drive-in movie (no kids- Date Night!)
4.  Go to the pool a lot
5.  Go to Discovery Place at least a few times
6.  Eat dinner outside in our backyard
7.  Make smoothies, freeze some for popsicles (will need to buy a blender first!)
8.  Schedule family picture session
9.  Take Oliver on a weekly date: just the two of us...a little quality time with my oldest
10.  Visit the Whitewater Center
11.  Take the boys on the Light rail
12.  Hit up some farmer's markets around town

I am sure we will add things as we go but I definitely want to make time for all of the above.  What is on your list this year?

Friday, June 24, 2011

Celebrity Spotting....

Don't mention the word celebrity around me and think I won't go stalking.  I heard there were film crews at Park Road Shopping Center last night so I promptly loaded up the boys and went to check it out.  This might sound crazy to some of you but last time we went celebrity hunting at Park Road Shopping Center we found Will Farrell filming "Talladega Nights."  

The crews were all set up at Blackhawk Hardware so obviously the boys and I had to go tool shopping.  Kind of ironic that this store offers free bags of popcorn while you shop spy.  After some investigating I found out that they were filming for the show "Homeland" which airs on Showtime.  It stars Clair Danes and Damian Lewis but neither were around for yesterday's scenes.  Apparently they filmed in several spots yesterday; a Dilworth home and the airport.  I have never seen the show so I Googled it and came across this article from The Charlotte Observer which ran in January.   Looks like we are going to have some Hollywood here in Charlotte through Thanksgiving so keep your cameras handy.  And do not forget to call me with any tip offs!  

FYE: 6/24/11...5 for $5

I was just thinking the other day how it really is the "little things" that make my life easier.  They probably don't rank where a full-time nanny or chef would but if I am being realistic, these things are crucial to my day.  I am going to share my list of 5 things that I can't live without and then I want to hear what is on your list.  There is only one catch...each thing must be $5 or less!

1.  I am obsessed with chapstick.  Not the actual brand but I don't know what else to call the gooey stuff you put on your lips that is not lip gloss.  My goo of choice is Keihl's Lip Balm #1.  Just typing that made me have to reach into my purse and get it out.  It is crucial to my happiness.

2.  Clear rubberbands.  Although I basically lose one every time I use it thats ok because there are hundreds in a pack.  Between not showering or showering and living in 90 degree heat a ponytail is a must for me.  I love these clear hair elastics because they keep my fine hair up and blend in.

3.  Scrabble and Boggle on my iPhone.  Crack for nerds.

4.  Sharpie fine pens.  These things changed my life.  I enjoy writing my lists even more now and I physically can't even write with other pens after discovering these.  They somehow make even your most sleep-deprived hand writing look great.  

5.  Some things are just a necessity for busy moms.  Dum Dum Pops are this for me.  I always have some on backup for longer than normal wait times at the doctor or when I want to spend a little more time in the shoe department of Nordstrom.  They have helped me talk my children down from some of the ugliest public tantrums and have even served as an appetizer when need be.

5 for $5

So, what are your 5 for $5?  Think you don't have any, just look in your purse.  Or think about what you would never leave the house without.  Leave a comment here or post it on our Facebook page!  Can't be over $5!!  

Thursday, June 23, 2011

Sarah's House: Before & After

As you all know we have finished the room make-over at Sarah's House and I am so excited to finally reveal the pictures!  The actual make-over was a 2-day process; the guys moved in all of the furniture on Thursday and my team of lovely ladies were there bright and early Friday.  We cleaned, hung curtains, arranged bookshelves, assembled furniture, and put all the love we could into that room.  It was an awesome day!  My friends were there and the residents were also in and out throughout the day.  It was priceless seeing their faces as they caught glimpses of the room.  They truly seemed shocked at the transformation and just so grateful.  The experience was fun because we got to spend some time with the mothers and their kids and learn a little more about them.  Part of my goal was to bring a little more connection between the mothers of Sarah's House and mothers from our community and I hope it did just that!  
Before: Beat up couch, ugly rocker, hodge-podge picture wall

Before: In need of some organization as well!

After:  The only original piece is the side table!
We also replaced that horribly dark teal with a bright, summery yellow!

After:  Framed fabric that can serve as background for
 pictures when and if they choose to fill them!
Before:  The entertainment center had lost it's doors and the rug
appeared to be a random donation as well.
*Note my "assistant" in the photo, can't seem to go
anywhere without that little guy!
After:  A new (donated) entertainment center with functioning doors!
New window treatments to make it feel more home-y.

After:  A rug that coordinates and brightens the place up!
Also a much-needed coffee table for storage.
Before:  Another "picture wall" and the matching beat-up love seat!

Before:  The corner/"dining room"??
After:  Now a reading nook for the kids complete with
 the books (this is only half!!) from the book drive!

After:  More seating and books for the moms as well!

After: A comfy living room for the moms and kids!

Before:  The kitchen in all it's glory...where to begin??

 After:  White cabinets, striped walls, and a bench window-seat that has storage space!

I feel like these pictures don't even do justice to how much the room really transformed.  I wish I could have captured every angle and every detail!

Wednesday, June 22, 2011

Calling all Bakers...

Stomp, Chomp & Roll Hosts Cookie Contest

to Benefit Cookies For Kids’ Cancer

Charlotte, N.C., June 8, 2011  – Charlotte-area restaurant and entertainment group, Stomp, Chomp & Roll will host a cookie recipe contest to benefit national nonprofit organization, Cookies for Kids’ Cancer.

Finalists in the contest will be invited to have their cookies judged on Friday, July 1 at 2 PM at The Flying Biscuit Park Road (4241 Park Rd) for a chance to win a place on the menu for their cookies at all six Stomp, Chomp & Roll locations until September 30, to recognize Pediatric Cancer Awareness Month. First place also includes free food for a year at any Stomp, Chomp & Roll location.

Submit your favorite original cookie recipe to: cookies@stompchomproll.com by Monday, June 27.

Judges include:
·       Grier Christenbury, Cookies for Kids’ Cancer Representative (age seven)
·       Kathleen Purvis, Food Editor (The Charlotte Observer)
·       Lisa Frame, Blogger (Daily Pinch, Powered by Women and Mommyality)
·       Kiran Dodeja Smith, Co-Publisher/Editor (Little Ones Magazine)
·       Richard "Foodzilla” Grucia, Founder Good Eats & Meets,  (largest dining group in the country per capita, based in Charlotte)

All proceeds from the sale of the winning cookie until September 30 will benefit Cookies for Kids Cancer. Second place will receive $100 gift card to any Stomp, Chomp & Roll locations and third will win a $50 gift card to any location.

About Stomp, Chomp & Roll
Stomp, Chomp & Roll, filling Charlotte bellies with food and laughter, is a Charlotte-based restaurant and entertainment group. Locations include: The Pizza Peel & Tap Room (Cotswold), The Flying Biscuit CafĂ© (Park Road Shopping Center and Stonecrest), Monkey Joe’s (Park Road Shopping Center), Mama Fu's (Cotswold Village Shops) and Moe's Southwest Grill (Northlake Mall). For more information, visit www.StompChompRoll.com.

About Cookies for Kids’ Cancer
Cookies for Kids’ Cancer was founded by parents inspired by their son’s fight against cancer. Today pediatric cancer remains the number one disease killer of children in the United States, due in large part to a lack of funding for research into new and improved therapies. Through the concept of local bake sales and online cookie sales, Cookies for Kids’ Cancer inspires individuals, organizations, and businesses to join in the fight against pediatric cancer by raising the funds and awareness necessary to change the face of pediatric cancer and provide more families with the hope they deserve. Cookies for Kids’ Cancer grants funds raised to leading pediatric cancer research facilities including Memorial Sloan-Kettering Cancer Center, St. Jude Children’s Research Hospital, Children’s Hospital of Philadelphia, Texas Children’s Cancer Center and Dana Farber Cancer Center. For more information, visitwww.cookiesforkidscancer.org. Follow on Facebook at www.facebook.com/Cookies-For-Kids-Cancer-Charlotte-NC-area and Twitter at www.twitter.com/cookies4kids.
The organization is a recognized 501(c)3 non-profit. Donations are tax deductible to the fullest extent of the law.

Things That Make You Go Hmmmm: Adrienne Patterson

There is a part of me that thinks, and hopes, that this whole home school thing is going to transform my kids.  After all you have heard me share how amazing the home school kids I have met are…no bickering and fighting, able to sit still, speak politely, have manners.  I am convinced that somewhere in that curriculum there is magic that will make my kids act this way.  I know that is a delusion but a girl has got to have hope because currently I am really about to kill my kids!  We are a few weeks into summer and I have been with them 24/7 and behind all my excitement over home school there is still that part of me that just wants to scream and pull my hair out over all the ways they are just GETTING ON MY NERVES!!!!!!

10.  Why can’t they flush the toilet after they poop?  Totally gross and to make it even more over the top the other day my older girls informed me that Finley had put an entire roll of toilet paper in the potty (one of her favorite pastimes) and then suddenly both the older girls had to poop and so they did, giggle, giggle.  Yes, very funny, freaking hilarious I was thinking as I turned a wire coat hanger into a make shift fishing pole to fish out a soggy roll of TP from two piles of poop. 

9.  Why does sitting down to a meal immediately activate their bladder?  It never fails, after I have spent an hour preparing the food, making the plates, fixing the drinks and rounding up all 3 kids and gotten them around the table inevitably, they have to get up and go pee.  Even better when it’s in a restaurant.  It has been a hellish 20-30 minutes entertaining them at the table, feeding them Captain’s Wafters and pulling them out from under the table.  The food finally arrives and I am starved from my job as entertainer and just as the first bite gets on my fork they have to go. As a a mom of girls obviously this job falls to me, can’t let dad take them in the nasty men’s bathroom. (Did that once and Gracie informed me that boys’ bathrooms are cool b/c they have waterfountains, a.k.a urinals…GROSS!).

8.  Why are they so dang needy?  I know that sounds like a dumb questions considering they are just kids and obviously they need help. But some days it just amazes me all that I have to do for them!  It seems every time I have a moment to sit down, or just a minute to myself they need me.  They can’t reach the light switch to see in the closet to get their shoes, they can’t figure out how to open their granola bar, they can’t buckle their seat belt, they can’t find their blanket, they can’t put the straw in their juice box, they cant’ squirt the toothpaste, they can’t open the backdoor b/c it’s locked…..OMG, is there anything you CAN do??!!  All theses needs times three and I feel like I might lose my mind!!!  Even better, when the hubs comes home and he acts as bad as them…have you seen my phone, where is the remote, I can’t find my wallet. Seriously dude, you are on thin, thin ice!

7.  They absolutely cannot be quiet!!!  After having children I seriously have found myself researching silent retreats and envying monks.  Sometimes I can tune it out but others (like lately) I can’t help but notice how they never stop talking!  It is a constant stream of chatter.  First we begin our day with the third degree about our activities for the day…what are we doing today? Can we go here? Can a friend come? Why not? Where are we going first? Then what?  Why do we have to do that? UGH!!!  Then there is just the running commentary about everything going on around them.  In addition to the non-stop talking there is also the fact that they don’t know how to speak quietly.  I admit I made fun of moms who taught babies sign language, I am eating my words now!!

6.  They are completely ungrateful and self-centered!  Yes, they are kids and they honestly believe the world revolves around them and it is our job to teach them otherwise.  But sometimes I am truly amazed at their lack of gratitude or awareness of anyone but themselves.  I can be cleaning poop off the floor while trying to keep a toddler from stepping in her mess and my 7 year old is in my face asking me to fix her a treat.  Really?  All time favorite is to be in bed sick, nearly blind from a migraine w/ tears running down my face and they will come in and remind me that I promised to take them to the pool!  You can drop $350 at the GA Aquarium and one will say it’s not as fun as she thought and the other will complain on the way out that she didn’t even get ice cream after lunch!!!  Despite knowing they are children, makes me want to just slap em’!!

5.  They are completely irrational and emotionally retarded.  While I have seen my fair share of tantrums there are still times when I am truly amazed at how upset they can become over the smallest things.  Astounding how my 3 yr. old can absolutely lose her you know what over having to wait more than 3 seconds for me to fix her something to drink.  Even more astounding is to see my 7 year old pitch a total fit b/c her nasty, ratty cat tee shirt is not clean for her to wear (doesn’t even count that she has worn it for 3 consecutive days prior to me washing it).  How about a 5 year old who can throw down, in public no less, when you won’t buy her yet another pair of flip flops.  They will cry over anything and have zero patience which leads to outburst of anger that force me to simply laugh at the absurdity.  Sadly it seems that no matter how many times I try to teach them to “use your words” they simply cannot do it.  So what do I do?  Fight w/ a 2 yr old and cry over a a 5 yr old who is exhausting me…don’t know where they pick this stuff up?

4.  They have the attention span of a gnat.  I have tried the crafts and fun games and I have concluded that it’s a waste of time.  This is how it usually shapes up….I present an activity, say playdough, after they fight over who gets what color etc. they proceed to play while I sneak off to start laundry. I return to playdough all over the floor and in the seat cushions and no children in sight, perfect!  I go off in search of them and find they have decided to color on the fantastic white board I bought them.  I cheerfully encourage their artistic talents and run to load the dishwasher.  Again I return to find no kids and a pile of dry erase markers all uncapped and stray marks on the walls and floor, ugh.  They have now moved on to the playroom with their 5000 toys. I am relieved this will surely buy me 30 minutes to shower and get dressed.  Wrong…the playroom looks like a bomb has gone off and the rascals are gone again. I find them in the kitchen where big sister has invented  a snack…go gurts squirted on paper plates with fruit snacks and goldfish mixed in, yuck!  As I am cleaning up yet another mess I hear them wail, “where is our playdough? We weren’t finished playing with it.”  It’s kind of like If You Give a Mouse a Cookie…just shoot me and give me a nanny!!

3.  They have ZERO common sense!!  I know their little sweet brains are still developing but I can’t understand how they can work an i-phone, the TV remote, the DVD player and figure out how to fix themselves a treat yet can’t do the most simple tasks.  When you look at your toothbrush does it appear it can hold half the tube of toothpaste?  When you set your drink down do you wonder if it might spill if you sit it at your elbow as you finish eating? Do you feel all the hair in your face and taste it as you eat your ice cream and not think to tuck it behind your ear?  When you go outside do you not think to ever shut the door behind you? Wouldn’t it make sense to look forward when walking vs. looking backwards and running into a wall?  Doesn’t it seem more appropriate to get your clothes out of the closet instead of the dirty clothes basket? And my all time favorite, doors!  Seriously, we must go in and out of doors 50 times a day yet all of my children insist on standing directly in front of the door making it impossible for me to open it without hitting them in the face?!  USE YOUR BRAIN KID!!!!

2.  They are filthy little pigs.  Not only do mine pitch a fit about bathing but they are a sticky dirty mess a majority of the time.  I don’t care if I give them clear liquids only they will end up with crusty hair, sticky hands, stained shirts and black fingernails.  Amazing how they can end up wearing an entire meal within moments of you sitting the plate in front of them.  However, not sure why I am surprised…have you ever just observed a kid eating?  OMG, no concept of whether the food is even getting in their mouth, they much prefer fingers over utensils, they see no cause to sit correctly in a chair they much prefer to be half hanging out of it or standing.  Their plate is usually 2 feet from their mouth and they have absolutely no awareness of their arms and elbows as they eat (we have yet to complete a meal without one spilled drink).  Don’t even get me started on foods like ice cream and popsicles…melting all down their hands, covering their chin and shirt and they have no clue.  They stink like their most recent meal and see no need for cleaning them selves…yep, dirty little pigs!

1.  And my all time favorite annoying thing about my kids, yes the age-old issue of arguing and bickering!  Truly, I can understand how moms just snap.  I believe my children could test the patience of Christ himself with their constant fighting!  I have no words for how this behavior sends me over the edge. It is non-stop and they can fight over absolutely anything.  They got into the other day over a straw wrapper!!!  Yes, TRASH and they were fighting over it…seriously?!  Some of my other favs….she’s looking at me, she’s following me, she’s copying me, they are leaving me out, I had it first, it’s mine, it’s my turn….completely and totally exhausting and makes me crazy.  It starts the moment they wake up and it is what I wake up to.  Gotta love being woken up to two kids standing at your bed tattling on one another and fighting.  Did you not see I was actually sleeping?  Yes, this is just the way to start my day….GET OUT OR YOU WILL DIE!  I laugh now thinking about fighting with my own sisters and my dad would get outraged (remember the hand swatting around the back seat while he was trying to keep the car on the road b/c you were fighting over whose turn it was to listen to the Walkman?) I remember thinking he was crazy and now I know exactly how he felt!!

Ahhhh, I feel so much better!!!  I hope you don’t judge and you can laugh along with me at how these precious gifts from God can truly drive you to the edge of sanity.  I have full blown PMS right now hence this ranting but sometimes you just gotta say how you feel!!
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