***If you have made your way back to Momsie, I am so glad you found us! We had some technical issues with the domain name so make note of the new web address. Another good reason to "follow" us and "like" us on Facebook so you can stay in the know!! Pass the word to people still searching for Momsie!***

Tuesday, June 21, 2011

Making New Mom-Friends: Lauren Alexander

I'll start with the bad news. We're not in high school anymore- no more of mom's cooking. Nor are we in college- remember sleeping in?! Heck, we're not even in the post college years when you clocked out of work at 5 and the biggest concern was where you'd enjoy happy hour. Nope. These days are behind us. Mom's cooking now means we're cooking, sleeping in happens only when you beg your husband, and happy hour has turned into the witching hour.

The good news is that we're not in it alone! You can see it as you walk through Target or the grocery store. The faces of the other mommies who just want a little bit of sleep and maybe a few hours alone. We all love our children and husbands dearly but we also love our time alone with girlfriends. The problem is when you finally get some cherished time away from the daily routine but don't have a girlfriend to share it with!
When I first moved to Seattle I had one husband, one dog, one 12-week old baby boy, and zero friends. This was not a balanced equation. My husband was wonderful support and fun to be around but he didn't really get it.For instance, he couldn't understand why I cried because I was too tired to even cut my finger nails. And he couldn't identify with me when I wondered if I'd ever get my pre-baby body back. And Lord knows he didn't want to talk about The Real Housewives. This is where friends came in and I had none. And I mean zero. Not a friend of a friend. Not an acquaintance. No one. I had faced this before in other cities we'd moved to but this time I felt an even more urgent need to connect with girlfriends because now I had a child. And if you have a child you know how important the support of a friend is.
If I'd had it my way, several like-minded girls of about the same age and background would have shown up on my front step, rung the doorbell, and we would have hit it off immediately. Well, I didn't have it my way. And I knew that creating a circle of friends was going to take some work on my end. I joined a storytime group at the local library, I hit the parks and playgrounds, and I joined several groups on Meetup.com that seemed like a good fit for me. These were not all a great success and I didn't always hit it off with the ladies in the group. Sometimes I didn't even feel like hitting it off with someone. I just wanted to be surrounded by other moms who wouldn't judge me for lack of makeup, a stained shirt, and a crying baby. It felt nice to overhear the others talk about their baby not sleeping or the fact that they didn't get out of their pajamas yesterday. Even when I didn't join in the conversation I felt the camaraderie that comes along with being around other moms and it felt good.
As I got out and about more I weeded out what was working and what wasn't. Storytime was nice because it was for a small age range of kids and immediately put you on a level playing ground with the other moms; we were basically all at the same stage with our kids.  Unfortunately, no one in our class had best friend potential. The parks and playgrounds let us get some fresh air but it's a little odd to just approach a stranger and strike up a conversation. Maybe this works for those that are extremely outgoing but it's definitely not a forte of mine. And the Meetup groups were a mixed bag. Some proved to be, uh, not a great fit we'll just say- F-bombs and talks of jello shots at my first meeting with one group; fanny packs and mom jeans at another group. But more on that later. The good news is that I finally found a good fit and immediately clicked with a local group of moms simply looking for the same thing I was. All it took was some time, effort, and maybe a little bit of make up to find the friends I had been looking for. And now, finally, I have someone who gets it when I say..."Did you see Housewives last night?"


  1. Well said, LP! The fun and also monotonous job of mommyhood definitely creates this innate desire for other mommy-friends just like you. And it is definitely hard to find a good fit. Get back to the East Coast and I'll hang with you all the time and dish about the Housewives and also Potty Training :) XO!

  2. I love this! Especially the jello shots and mom jeans part :). And I totally watched Housewives last night...

    You summed things up perfectly! It's tough enough to be a new mom, even more so in a new city, and I'm so glad that we all have each other to commiserate with!


Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...