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Monday, October 17, 2011

Well-Being in Your Marriage...

I will start by saying that I am NOT an expert on marriage and definitely not when it comes to creating a healthy marriage.  I am still figuring out how to maneuver this whole relationship and kids thing and a lot days it is not pretty around here.  But we have come a long way from those first few shaky years!  My husband and I fell in love quick, got married quick, and then began fighting really quick.  It seemed like once one little thing got on my nerves it just snowballed and suddenly everything got on my nerves.  Like my mom used to tell me, "Opposites a attract and then they attack."  It was so true, all of the things I used to love about him now drove me crazy.  

Having a child didn't help matters either.  The experience as a whole really bonded us on another level but it also added more complaints to my growing list.  I started to look at him as just another person in our home that expected things from me and didn't seem to notice my needs.  But to be fair, there wasn't a whole lot he could do right just because I was so tired and overwhelmed with my new role as a mom.  And can we just talk for a minute about the difference between men and women when it comes to sex.  I know there might be some crazy-wonderful wives out there who still bring the sexy to the bedroom but I have had enough conversations with my friends to know I am not alone in the fact that sex is about 9th on my priority list...on a good day.  Most of the time I just don't want to be touched by another human at the end of the day.  Its nothing personal to my husband, I am just tired of being so needed by other humans that by the time evening rolls around I just want to sit in ugly yoga pants and a t-shirt and watch tv.  My idea of romance is my husband offering to make me some popcorn...no strings attached.

I do feel bad for my husband because I really am different from when he married me.  But at the same time how could I not be?  We have more responsibilities, have been through more experiences, and I have had the joy of becoming a mother.  I am a different person.  And really so is he.  But that doesn't have to be a bad thing.  I think a huge part of being married is learning to grow with each other through all the changes life brings.   I know that no matter what, I want to not only stay married for my kids sake but, I want to have a great marriage for them to look up to.  It can be hard to make that a priority in the hustle and bustle of motherhood but it really is so worth it. (Remind me of that next week) 

Our church service this week had such a great message that I had to share the list of ideas they gave us for building a better marriage.  They are such great, basic tips that its kind of sad that I even need them as a reminder.  So many of these ideas are just ways to do "the little things" which are usually the things that make all the difference.  When I read a couple of them I did the whole side-cough and taped my finger on them while nudging my husband.  A copy is going front and center of our fridge!  *Sorry for the poor quality but the only way I could share this was via a scanned copy.  If it is too small for you to read try clicking on the image for a larger copy or clicking your "zoom in" button on your toolbar:

1 comment:

  1. You and I have even more in common than I thought (and I already thought we had a lot in common)! Thank you so much for posting this! I really needed to read it/be reminded of it.


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