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Thursday, May 19, 2011

It Takes Time to be a Mom...

Every time I sit down at my desk to blog, pay bills, check Facebook, or organize our calendar I am overwhelmed by all there is to do in life.  There always seems to be an appointment to be made or a friend to call back or money to be spent.  Each month the weekends fill up with things before we are even into the second week and suddenly months are flying by and things just aren't slowing down.  I swear I don't remember this happening before kids.  Maybe it did but back then having a full schedule was great.  You didn't have obligatory things like T-Ball games, 2nd birthday parties, and swim lessons.  You didn't have to coordinate a babysitter and most importantly you didn't have to wait anxiously for a weekend just to get a break.  Now I get stressed when I start filling our calendar up.  I don't want to get up early on a Saturday and run around like a crazy person.  I want to just slow down and hang out.  

I don't regret having children, they are not the problem here.  The problem is that I, for one, feel the need to attend everything, return every phone call, and upload every frickin picture to Facebook.  I am one of those people who wishes cell phones were never invented.  Yes, I am always on mine but half the time I just want to throw the thing in the nearest lake.  Or even better just finally let my children have their way with it...go ahead boys drool into the speaker, bang it like a drum, and put your sticky fingers all over it!  Cell phones and email make everyone think that you should always be 100% available and reliable.  What everyone forgets is that life changes after kids.  The amount you talk on the phone doesn't show the value of your friendship, returning emails can't be a #1 priority, and, if you can't get a hold of someone...you'll live!  

I have noticed my stress level rising since having my second.  I never stop going and a lot of times I end up taking the stress out on my family.  Then I beat myself up about it as I drift off to sleep.  Today my cell phone died while I was out and about and it was heaven.  I couldn't call anyone and it was a relief.  Half my conversations are just to pass time yet I will rip my kids a new one if they interrupt.  As I drove around today I realized my day was less stressful and my kids benefited.  I know giving up my cell phone is not an option and neither is disconnecting our computer but I am going to stop treating both as if they were my top priority.  I am fortunate enough to have friendships that can lasts through these busy years without daily phone calls.  If they can't then maybe this is a great weeding out tool anyways!  I am going to try to do what most of us women have the hardest time doing, I am going to stop worrying and taking care of everyone else.  My kids, my husband, and myself will be first and everything and everyone else will fall in line.  I have a feeling that most of my friends really won't miss my boring phone calls anyways; who misses hearing their friends scream at her children in their ear?!  

So, if you call me you might hear a new voicemail message, something like this:  "Hi, sorry I missed your call but I have kids.  This means that I am either busy right now chasing them with their clothes trying to dress them or I am in the check out line at Target buying something to feed, cloth, or clean them.  I will try my best to remember to call you back but please allow 7-10 days or possibly just until my kids are in college.  Thanks for understanding."  beeeep.  Maybe I'll set one that as my automated reply on email as well.  Is there a way to set a message to play in real life when someone asks what's for dinner??

I want to stop having a full calendar and more time to just enjoy ourselves.  This summer it is my mission to cut back on all the things that just end up making me crazy.  And the best part about it is...I am offering no apologies to anyone!

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