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Wednesday, August 10, 2011

Bully Beatdown...

The steam is still coming out of my ears as I write this.  Deeeep breaths, deeeep breaths.  Ok, not helping at all.  Let me preface this by saying a lot of my frustration right now comes from the fact that I really want to slap a 7-year-old.Relax, I didn't but oooh I wanted to.  I guess thats not really fair considering his mom may be the one who needs to be slapped.  So let me back up and say that in my 4.5 years of being a mom I have really never had to deal with any bullies.  Sure we have encountered other toddlers that want to steal a toy or play a little too rough but never an outright bully.  In all honesty my youngest, Sullivan is the one I have to watch but he is not even two yet and pushing and not sharing kinda comes with the age.  BUT that is why I keep a close eye on him and appropriately discipline him when I need to.  Even when I don't think he did anything that bad I still make a point to remind him "we don't hit" and "we share our toys."  Mainly so other moms know I am aware of my child and not just surfing my iPhone (I mean I am surfing my phone but I still try to be aware of my kids).  


So today I decided to take the kids to McDonalds so they could play in the indoor playplace.  After bribing them to eat their nuggets I set them loose.  After awhile I gave the 5 minute warning and told my son to pick one last thing to do. He headed over to this bouncy pole thing.  You basically stand on a little platform and the pole bounces up and down.  He waited patiently (yes my kids are looking good in this story...let me have my glory for once) for a little girl to finish.  Her mom walked over to let her know her turn was over, which I thought was really nice.  EXCEPT she was only saying that her turn was over so her big brother could have his.  Oh what big brother you ask??  The one that just walked over, shoved my kid out of the way, and hopped on.  Yes, while the mom was standing there.  I thought surely she was going to scold him but she was more concerned with stopping a would-be fight between her two kids to notice.  She also had to get back to her conversation with her friends.  Ya know, fine I can deal with everyone being a little preoccupied so I let it go but after the kid stayed on while Oliver just looked on I decided to bust my way on over there.   


I came up and kinda loudly asked Oliver what was wrong.  He said, "This boy won't let me get on."  So I said in my nicest "mom voice," "Oh sure he will, your turn is next."  To which bully boy responded, "No he isn't next because my sister is going next and then her friend and then I am going to have another turn, so he can't go."  Remember this is a 7 or 8 year old kid not a 4 year old.  I politely let him know that no, Oliver would be next because that was fair.  He again told me no he wouldn't.  So I said, "Well you actually pushed him out of the way to have your turn so YES he will be next."  As I turned to walk away so I didn't get heated with a kid he looked at my son and said, "You're never going to have a turn, never, never, never, not for forever!!"  Its not even like he was upset to have to get off he just was mean.  What was making me more mad than anything was that his mom was oblivious.  Maybe she was also oblivious when it came time to teach manners (just sayin..).  So obviously I maturely yelled across the restuarant, over that mom's head, "just ignore what that boy is saying Oliver and take your turn next." When I walked back over Oliver was asking why they were so mean and I just said "Ya know what, lets just go but remember this is how I never want you to behave.  Don't ever ever ever talk to an adult this disrespectfully and always be kind to others."  Hmmph.


I know, I know, it was just a kid but I really can't believe some kids have the nerve to talk to an adult that way.  Especially one they don't even know.  I also can't believe that in such a small space this mother never even noticed.  Or maybe she did and just didn't feel like dealing with him today.  Who knows, I am sure that she tried her best to raise respectful kids but today was just not their day.  It did give me a good opportunity to talk to my son about how to speak to adults.  Which then led us to the conversation of how not to talk to strangers. Its always so hard to explain that they should be respectful to adults unless of course that adult is trying to lure them to their windowless van with a sucker.  I just keep it simple and said be nice to adults, say yes ma'am, no ma'am unless that adult tries to take you anywhere.  Then its scream, punch, and kick em in the crotch.  Same for that mean kid if we run into him again!  

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