***If you have made your way back to Momsie, I am so glad you found us! We had some technical issues with the domain name so make note of the new web address. Another good reason to "follow" us and "like" us on Facebook so you can stay in the know!! Pass the word to people still searching for Momsie!***

Monday, August 15, 2011

Choosing My Battles...

We are having a little battle of control here at the Barden household.  It is me versus my toddler.  So far, he is winning.  My sweet Sullivan is as stubborn as they come.  He has absolutely no patience and when I say no patience...I mean nooo patience.  If he wants something, he wanted it yesterday.  He makes me aware of this by using his most shrill, ear-piercing scream.  This scream has become his go-to weapon.  I'll give it to the kid, he is smart.  He quickly figured out that no one wanted to hear this scream so we would all jump to his command.  I knew each time that we were teaching him that this tactic worked but come on people, my ears were suffering.  So were the ears of the people around us.  His favorite locations to scream (aside from the car and our home) are restaurants and malls.  

A typical outing for us usually starts a car ride full of screaming.  When we put him the car we immediately give him a arsenal of things.  A full cup of water, a passy, a toy, a blanket...I would give him a  freaking puppy to hold if it worked!  All the while we are talking to him like we are talking a mental patient off a ledge.  "Heeeerrree you gooo.  Heeereees your blanky.  We loooove our blanky.  Allllright, its oookay.  Just a quick ride and we'll beee there."  Then we buckle him and try to nonchalantly close the door and get going.  Usually we have made it to reverse before the screaming begins.  Depending on the day, and my mood, I try a variety of things:  the radio, windows down, tossing toys to him, telling him to close his mouth (sadly, he completely understands this command.  Yet, doesn't really do it for long), and my personal favorite screaming back at him.  It is in those moments when I am screaming at him to stop screaming that I feel like a total failure.  I try not to beat myself up over it because I know I am just at my wits end but I know it is clearly not the way to go.   

So what is the way to go?  I have begun using short time-outs, threats of taking things away (and sometimes following through, unless its going to make him scream more), and other times just putting all the windows down to drown out his noise.  I know there is some great patient mother out there that would scold me for giving in to him but really who wants to endure screaming that rattles your brain?  Plus it is just plain embarrassing to have the loudest kid in the restaurant!  I would love to hold my ground but not at the sake of other people's hearing.  I keep telling myself that once he outgrows this phase and learns a few more words, THEN I will crack down on him.  I know.. thats weak and lame.  In all honesty I am just too tired most of the time to follow through.  I know some of you want to scream at me through your computer right now to buckle down and get back some control.  I know that you are thinking that my kid is headed for a delinquent teen-hood with a mother who can't enforce a rule.  I know, I know.  

So what do you do?  How do you handle the annoying things your kid does?  Do you see it as a phase and just try to get through it or do you make rules and enforce them each and every time?  I have always considered myself a pretty tough cookie when it comes to discipline but this one is throwing me for a loop!  I am not afraid to be stern with my kids I just don't want to go deaf in the meantime.  So I am all ears (what's left of them) for your tips!  Anything you have learned on this topic?  Anything you are currently battling?  For your enjoyment I have included a picture of yet another battle I am currently losing...I have always had a no-carbonated drink rule but a certain someone and his lungs have won again...

Sullivan and my coke


  1. That hair!! If I hadn't heard the screaming myself I wouldn't believe that something that little could make anything "big":)

  2. Trust me he can! ps...You like the Beiber do?

  3. So here is my two cents worth....yes, we are supposed to follow through, be consistent and stand our ground. However, we are also dealing with a person who has little to know ability to reason and doesn't even have a fully formed brain. In my experience I have found that just b/c you give in to a toddlers annoying phases and habits it doesn't mean that you have given over all control and are destined to have an out of control brat for a child. There is something to be said for discipline and there is also something to be said for survival. You make your best efforts to teach him not to scream but if you do just give him the cookie or let him sip on a Coke it's not the end of the world. I think you are exactly right....you will have plenty of opportunity down the road to really establish rules etc. for now just try your best and hang on for the (loud) ride :)


Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...