***If you have made your way back to Momsie, I am so glad you found us! We had some technical issues with the domain name so make note of the new web address. Another good reason to "follow" us and "like" us on Facebook so you can stay in the know!! Pass the word to people still searching for Momsie!***

Tuesday, August 9, 2011

Lauren Alexander: Dynamic Duos...

Lucy and Ethel. Bert and Ernie. Kelly and Brenda. These duos knew what it took to make a lasting bond (well, until Kelly stole Dylan right out from under Brenda but that's a different blog all together). The following are some suggestions for creating and growing your own friendships (none of which involves stealing the other's man).

1. Stop giving advice- We all know that friend. The one who we'd like to think means well but her endless advice and input is seriously annoying. It may come from a good place but if you're always the one to tell your friend how to fix her problems then the relationship becomes unbalanced and you become the one who "Knows it All" and she becomes the one who is perpetually helpless. Meanwhile she may not feel helpless at all, just annoyed by your never ending ways to help a teething baby, give a bottle, discipline your toddler, make dinner in 5 minutes, clean the house... So take a breath next time your dear friend is venting, just listen, and fight the urge to say "Well, what would do is..."

2. Show a different side of yourself- A great way to do this is to mix friends from different areas of your life- say, your college friends and the new girls you met in the neighborhood. You'll find yourself opening up more and your friends will learn new things about you. Whether we know it or not we show different sides to our self depending on the group we're with. Even those college friends who have known you forever might not know the super-obsessive-slightly-neurotic mother you've become. Whereas the newbies have no idea that you used to be the "shot girl" at your hometown bar. Friendships benefit from a breath of fresh air and what's a better way to get even closer with your girlfriends than sharing where we've come from?!

3. Be genuinely happy for your friend- Friends want you to celebrate with them when good things happen. Sometimes that's harder than it sounds, especially if you're a little jealous of your pal's success. Swallow that emotion, because she doesn't just need a shoulder to cry on in a crisis. She's also looking for someone to cheer her triumphs! We all need that someone who we can come to with the good and the bad and there's no worse feeling than sharing really exciting news only to not have it reciprocated on their end. Maybe hearing that dear friend's hubby just got a huge raise on a day where you re-worked your own household budget ten different times is a bitter pill to swallow. But just remember that what you give, you get. And when you want that same friend to cheer with you because your little one finally started walking you're more likely to hear her squeal right along with you if you were there for her, too.

4. Make small gestures- When I was pregnant and going through some really tough times, Chick Fil A saved my life. Ok, that may be a bit of an over statement. But when my girlfriend would call and say "Let's get lunch today", I don't think she knew how much it meant to me. Just to be able to mentally check out for a little while and enjoy some good old fashioned fast food with a friend gave me a much needed boost to my spirits. You don't have to go to great lengths to show your friends that you love them. It truly is the little things that can make such a difference in a friend's day.

5. Act like your kid- Please understand what I'm saying. I don't want you to scream, poop your pants, and fall asleep on the way home. I just mean that grown ups should work harder on seeing their friends. Back in the day when we were in school it was easy. You spend all day, every day, with them. But once you've graduated, and the "real world" begins, you can't continue on like you used to. Adults have to make more of an effort to see each other, even more so after kids come along, and sometimes they just don't do that. I look at it like this: After your child spends the afternoon with their buddy, they're pleasantly exhausted, ready for a nap, and generally a happier person; After I spend time catching up with a friend, firmly checked out of "mom mode", I am equally a happier person (and depending on if wine was involved, equally ready for a nap). So, you now have my permission to go act like a kid and enjoy some playtime of your own.


  1. What about Lauren and Heidi? How could you forget that twosome?! What do I do if I can't nurture my friendships bc my child's screaming scares them off??

  2. The point is to nurture your friendships so you can get AWAY from your children:)


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